How is everyone doing?
Me? I’m fine, thanks for asking.
I don’t have any silly story to give, or any nostalgia to hit you in the face with this week. Just me checking in on you.
We are finally seeing the other side of ~The Quarantine~ tunnel. Some people are really excited about it, and some people aren’t so excited about it. Both feelings are okay!
Shoot, I’m excited to not hear, “In times like these…”, “In these unprecedented times…”, or “With everyone staying home…”, on my TV anymore! But I’m not excited about all the tension it’s caused.
I’m already feeling nostalgic for this time. Obviously, I can do without the fear, the deaths, and the economy tanking, but there weren’t any expectations of me. My time didn’t belong to anyone else but me. Have you ever said, “If I just had the time, I could…”? Well, you know what, I had 3 months worth of time, and still didn’t do any of that stuff I talked about doing. Not to say I didn’t do anything productive, because I did. But no, I did NOT learn how to play Feelin’ Alright on my Casio like I’ve been wanting to do since Christmas.
I hope all of you learned a little bit about yourself, because I know I did. I think that is most important. Living through a Pandemic is awful. There is no doubt I’ll remember it that way, but I want to also remember it as a time where I made some positive changes in my life. Like learning how to prioritize my time better, or learning how not to touch my face so much (honestly! Who knew it would be so hard?). And I hope that for you, too. I hope you’re doing alright. I hope you aren’t sitting at home pouting about all the things that were taken away from you. Pouting feels good, but it’s never the answer. Same goes for cheese, trust me.
Before I go, I want to thank all of you who have supported this little business through…sigh…these unprecedented times. You have kept me busy, hopeful, and happy. I am going to add a video below of a song that has been stuck in my head the last few days. It goes along with this post. I hope you dance a little bit while listening to it. But just a little.
Be cool, & (responsibly) party on.
If you know me, you know I’ve recently fallen in love. And his name is S’mores. It wasn’t love at first sight, but rather a slow burn. I really slept on S’more my whole childhood, but now I’m hooked, and I can’t get enough.
It all happened last summer. I said to myself, “Self, we have to do something to make summer nights special, otherwise it’s just another night.” (I re-wrote that sentence 1,000 times, and every time I sound like a 1950s housewife.) After deciding that a “summery” cocktail every night would be absurd (but would it?), I landed on S’mores. Something changed in me that first night I made them. I became a believer.
When summer ended, I cooled off on the S’mores. But when we were ordered to stay at home, and the world seemed to be ending, I decided to treat myself again. My first panic buy was a supply of S’mores ingredients. I absolutely have my priorities straight.
Anyway, I wrote this for you, S’mores. I love you.
Ooey gooey treat,
you knock me off my feet.
Melted chocolate, toasted mallow,
can’t wait til tomorrow.
Need one now, need it quick,
someone get me to a fire pit.
i learned from Ham
that first, you take the gram.
Time to be a stacker
Chocolate tops the cracker,
what comes next,
isn’t just for effect,
When the mallow’s on fire,
Ecstasy will transpire,
For now it’s time to eat,
your tasty little treat.
Are you a dessert or a sandwich?
I demand to know which.
Desserts make you wait,
they’re last on your plate.
So if you don’t mind,
I think it’s lunch time.
It’s been almost a month since I last posted. I don’t have any excuses other than lack of inspiration, strike that, it's because of laziness.
It’s an incredibly strange time. I could pop on here to write about how we need to stay positive, stay home, and wash our hands. Which is absolutely true, but you don’t need to hear that from me. I’m here to provide you with a little bit of entertainment. To take you away from the news, and out of your head for 20 minutes or so.
So let’s get into it. For this post I am going to rewatch A Goofy Movie as an adult and I’m going to live blog it. I’d live tweet it, but I think know I’m going to have a lot of thoughts.
A brief history on me and A Goofy Movie. I can vividly remember watching it for the first time. I was at daycare, and I must have been about 4 or 5 years old. When my mom picked me up I remember telling her how funny it was, and I was BEGGING her to buy me a copy of it. Being the perfect angel mother she is, she did. I picked A Goofy Movie for this for a couple of reasons. One being that I haven’t watched it in quite some time, and even though it’s a kids movie I think I can get through the whole thing without thinking it’s totally stupid. Also, thanks to Buzzfeed, article here, I learned that last week marked 25 years since it’s release! Feeling old? Me too.
Here we go!
• Okay, I still get a little excited to see the Disney title screen and hear the “woo wooo woo woo woo”. You know the sound I'm talking about, right?
• Oh man, I’m feeling the feels seeing the wheat field.
• I thought stuff like sitting on a tall pillar in the middle of a field of wheat was something all teenagers did.
• I wanted to be Roxanne SO bad. The mole, the hair, the long shorts!
• Wait, why doesn’t Roxanne wear gloves?
• Oh it just got scary. That’s right, he turns into his dad! Shoes rip open, but gloves stay in tack?
• After he fully transforms and does the AHYUCK and chuckle I knew, even at 7 years old, that I would grow up to be a Goofy and not a Roxanne.
• So, Max sleeps in no shirt, but still has the gloves.
• The part where he hits the alarm clock and the time changes gave me trust issues.
• Okay, as an adult I feel for Goofy during this part. Especially since he’s in a towel, with another towel wrapped around his head, holding a vacuum.
• Oh no! Goofy looks so upset for ruining the Powerline cardboard cut out!
• JUST BE NICE TO YOUR DAD, MAX! (can you tell I’m missing my parents?)
• Max calls Powerline a Rockstar. Is that what we thought rockstars were in the 90s? Would that make Usher a rockstar?
• Okay, now I’m googling Xavier Cugat, the Mambo King. He’s real!
• OH SNAP IT’S TIME FOR THE OPENING NUMBER!
• Okay, most of the characters are wearing the gloves, but some aren’t. What are the rules for the gloves?
• Because of this I thought twins were only allowed to date twins. I feel like I learned a lot of false lessons about the world from this movie.
• There was a heated debate in my house about the lyric, “I’m gonna sit on my butt”. I swore up and down that he says BUS instead of BUTT. I fought with my siblings about it because I really didn’t feel right about singing the word, “Butt”.
• Now I’m remember that I used to pretend I was Max during this number and act out all of his moves in my living room.
• When the song ended I always made sure to stop dancing/being Max so I could look at the TV. Chad, The “hot” guy does this this thing where he laughs and thrusts his hips forward. I NEVER WANTED TO MISS THAT PART. Looking back, that definitely awoken something in me.
• Also, this must be the point in the movie where Mom would bring me a PB&J because I’m suddenly craving one.
• I never liked PJ. I still don’t. Stop whining and be a good friend!
• Bobby using a straw at the water fountain is iconic. Ahhoooo CHEDDAR WHIZZZY. Wait, is the cheese whiz supposed to symbolize pot?
• Okay, assembly time.
• YO STACY! TALK TO ME, TALK TO ME, TALK TO ME, BABY! I repeated that phrase like a parrot. I’m sure it annoyed everyone in the house.
• Principal Mazur still sucks!
• WTH? is Bobby welding?
• Come on PJ! Quit trying to wuss out! Bobby is back there throwing actual flames and you’re scared to get in trouble?
• IT’S HAPPENING! I’m genuinely excited to see this part. I literally just got up to dance.
• It’s 2020 and I still don’t know how they pulled this off.
• This song is such a bop. I sang it at karaoke a few months ago.
• All of Bobby’s commentary is gold.
• I think very shortly after I watched this movie I started kissing boys. I blame it on the way Max does that little walk towards Roxanne from the stage. My first ever boyfriend went to the same daycare. His name was Nick, he had red curly hair, and still sucked his thumb.
• Wait, someone just called Max the Goof kid. Is Max’s last name Goof? Is Goofy’s name Goofy Goof??? I just googled it. Full name - G.G. “Goofy” Goof. The more you know….
• Goofy trying to get that child to smile still makes laugh like an idiot. He swallowed the squeaker!
• Hyper Girl’s hair bow is GOALS.
• I never realized what a total jerk Pete is. Is he supposed to be a wolf? Just googled it. He’s a cat.
• This is is flawlessly directed. It deserves an Oscar.
• Okay, back to Max and the guys waiting in the Principal’s Office.
• YAAASSSS - It’s the Leaning Tower of Cheese-a!!!!!! I bet I can make one.
• I take back what I said about PJ. His dad is a jerk and he might actually squish him like a bug.
• Enter Roxanne and Stacy.
• Note that neither of them wear the gloves.
• As an adult, I think Stacy is super cool. Don’t come at me.
• Alright, plot point set! Max asked Roxanne to go with him to Stacy’s party.
• Does Powerline not go on tour? Just concerts in LA shown via pay-per-view? Remember when you had to call to order pay-per-view? Did you also think it was called Paper View like I did?
• EVERYBODY MAMBO! I used to yell that a lot too.
• “Dance with her! Groove with her!” There needs to be more Bobby in this movie.
• Okay, the phone conversation between Goofy and Principal Mazur hits different as an adult.
• Goofy is SO worried about Max. I don’t think I ever really listen to what Mazur says, but he’s absolutely over exaggerating. The electric chair?! Are you kidding me? No wonder Goofy is so stressed!
• I think I’m gonna call my dad after this.
• I relate to the over packing that’s happening in this scene.
• Sick Donald Duck reference.
• Goofy is literally breaking my heart. Is this how the entire movie is going to be? Me yelling at my screen for Max to be sweet to Goofy?
• Roxanne’s dad doesn’t wear gloves. Or pants.
• I thought it was so romantic that Max helped Roxanne up on to the railing and I still do.
• How come in movies no one can fully explain their situation?
• I remember as a kid not fully understanding that he was lying to her about going to the concert.
• Seeing neither of them wearing seatbelts makes me a little anxious.
• Sick Walt Disney Reference.
• Oh no the High Hopes song. It’s going to be stuck in my head all night!
• Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck cameo!
• The Nuns! We see them again, right?
• OH MY GOSH LESTER’S POSSUM PARK!
• I lied, THIS song is going to be stuck in my head all night.
• The possum stuff is terrifying.
• Goofy is so pure. Teenagers are so mean! He just wants to make memories with you, Max!
• Okay, Pete’s RV is still super dope. He’s the worst, but he’s got the right idea about camping.
• I used to think that PJ’s dust rag was a tail.
• I tried to talk my brother into learning Max and PJs handshake with me. It was a no go.
• But I did learn Pete’s little victory dance and chant and took it on as my own.
• THE PERFECT CAST! Yea, you guessed it, I also know the perfect cast.
• I LOVED the Big Foot stuff and I still do!
• I used to run into my parents room to tell them it was almost Big Foot time.
• The Stayin’ Alive bit still holds up.
• Hi Dad Soup is something we still say in my family.
• So is the question, how many cups does it take to get to the moon.
• Oh the map...
• I didn’t understand this part when I was a kid. Max didn’t know Goofy was going to let him be in charge of the map at this point in the movie. Did he think Goofy wasn't going to notice the change?
• Even though I didn't fully get what was going on, the music and the fast cuts made my little heart pound.
• That short stack looks DELICIOUS.
• The Nuns! I knew we saw them again. Oh, and Elvis!
• Okay so he finally hands over the map to Max and says he gets to pick all the stops. How is Max supposed to know all the cool places to stop without a smart phone?
• Montage time!
• The Nuns again at the monster truck show!
• Goofy only getting excited about the yarn house is precious, just freaking precious.
• The mime bit still cracks me up.
• Their room at The Neptune Inn is still so cool.
• Is the RV cord supposed to be squirting water like that? I still don’t know.
• But what I do know is is that pizza still looks SO cheesy and SO good.
• Honestly, as a kid I needed the Pete and Pj scenes to literally spell the plot out to me. Not because it was hard to follow, but because I was dumb.
• Goofy is giving me major Ned Flanders vibes in this scene.
• Pete and Goofy are still wearing the gloves in the hot tub.
• Oh no, the junction scene. I used to think he said Arjunction.
• This part hits differently as an adult. It’s the moment Goofy knows for certain his kid is a twerp. I always wondered why Goofy didn’t just go the right way.
• Oh, now they wear seatbelts!
• Still one of my biggest fears is leaning against a car and having it roll down a hill.
• Them yelling at each other is making me sad.
• I remember thinking that for a movie about two boys there sure was a lot of singing.
• This used to be a fast forward song, but now I’ve got a lump in my throat.
• The waterfall part is SCARY! I know what happens and I’m still on the edge of my seat!
• My brother can still do a flawless impression of Goofy saying, “The Perfect Cast” at that moment.
• Powerline is an absolute ICON.
• I honestly thought you could sneak into any concert by hiding in the equipment. I was certain at some point in my life I would do that.
• This song is on my iPod. Obviously so is Stand Out.
• Oh my gosh I forgot about the love connection between Stacy and Bobby over the cheese whiz can. I SHIP IT.
• No WAY that car would drive all the way back across America.
• Dang Roxanne! Keep it in your pants!
• When the car exploded I literally LOL’d.
• Goofy must be saved at all costs.
That's it! Movie's over! It's definitely still just a kids movie, but thoroughly enjoyed it. Thanks for sort of watching it with me!
I hope you're staying safe and staying sane.
Thank you to all the essential workers and health heroes.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I've written some limericks for your enjoyment.
Nothing ruins St. Patty’s day more,
Than when bars have to close their front doors,
Thanks to COVID-19,
I’m alone & drunk on my living room floor.
On March 17th St. Patrick died,
We celebrate him & Irish pride.
A day to get drunk,
Some even blow chunks.
Who cares if it’s not very dignified!
I wanted to marry a fireman,
Instead i married an Irish man,
On me he cheated,
On me he beated,
So I hit him with my mini van.
With Coronavirus in full force,
& social distancing enforced,
I’m home with my wife,
& I swear on my life,
This might just end in divorce.
There was a man named Liam O’Toole,
He was the luckiest boy in school,
I know it’s all luck,
Because he’s one ugly schmuck,
& still has a hot wife & pool.